思いをする【おもいをする】

The expression 思いをする means "to have an experience" or "to go through a feeling". It describes undergoing or experiencing a particular emotion or sensation, often one that is unpleasant or deeply felt. The key nuance is that the experience happens to the person – they find themselves in that emotional state rather than actively choosing it.

This pattern is most common with adjective-modified おもい思い to describe what kind of experience or feeling the person went through.

Common collocations

The most frequent combinations involve negative or intense emotions:

• 嫌な思いをする – to have an unpleasant experience

  あのとき時はほんとうに本当にいやなおもいをした嫌な思いをした。

  I really had an unpleasant experience at that time.

• 辛い思いをする – to go through a painful/hard experience

  かのじょ彼女はこどものころ子供の頃、つらい辛いおもい思いをしたそうだ。

  I heard she went through painful experiences as a child.

• 怖い思いをする – to have a frightening experience

  ひこうき飛行機がゆれて揺れてこわい怖いおもい思いをした。

  The airplane shook and I had a scary experience.

• 悲しい思いをする – to experience sadness

  だれ誰にもかなしい悲しいおもい思いをさせたくない。

  I don't want to make anyone feel sad.

• 痛い思いをする – to go through a painful experience (physical or emotional)

  いたい痛いおもい思いをしないとわからない分からないひと人もいる。

  Some people don't understand unless they go through a painful experience.

Causative form: 思いをさせる

This pattern is used in its causative formおもい思いをさせる to express making someone go through a certain feeling. This is especially common when expressing guilt or concern about causing others distress.

Nuance

Unlike simply saying かなしかった悲しかった ("I was sad") or こわかった怖かった ("I was scared"), using 思いをする frames the emotion as a lived experience – something one went through. This gives the expression a more reflective, narrative quality and is common in storytelling, recounting past events, and expressing empathy.