Let's have a contest. The side to come up with the worst insult wins.

When you lose, you actually win.

Heads I win, tails you win.

He won the fight by a knockout.

Yielding is sometimes the best way of succeeding.

He laughs best who laughs last.

First come, first served.

First come, first served.

First come, first served.

Best of luck in your tournament.

The match ended in victory for him.

Did you hear that the position for manager is up for grabs?

I didn't win, but at least I got a consolation prize.

Heads I win, tails you lose.

Graduating from university without studying is a victory, isn't it.

You won.

You won.

Tom won.

I won!

I won!